Abhay Verma became a household name with his soft and sensitive portrayal of Bittu in Munjya (2023). Up next, he is following it with some more romcoms like Laikey Laikaa with actor Rasha Thadani and another film with actor Shanaya Kapoor. However, that is not the kind of manhood the actor grew up watching.
On International Men’s Day today, Abhay Verma tells us, “I have grown up in Haryana where I saw manliness being described in terms of power. And the power was not about being influential, but in terms of your body structure and how much you could use it to intimidate people. Thankfully, as I grew up, I realised that it’s completely the opposite. Manliness is about understanding the other person, and not intimidate them. That makes you a better man.”
There was a time when the rule was ‘Mard ko dard nahin hota’, but Abhay feels that time is over. “That time is gone. It comes from the fact that men actually used to speak a lot less about their feelings to others. But I am glad that they feel like talking now and give space for other men to be who they are. As a young man, I also knew this definition only that you can’t explain yourself or portray yourself to be vulnerable or weak, as that makes you less of a man. But it’s beautiful when you are able to be yourself. My sister and my mom make me a better man than anyone else,” he says.
Even on screen, where the ‘alpha men’ are becoming all the rage, Abhay is making his own place as a sensitive romantic hero. Mention it to him and he says, “These terms like ‘alpha’ and ‘sensitive’ are subjective. For me, (actor) Ranbir Kapoor in Animal (2024) is an alpha, but if I take an example of me in Munjya, I am an alpha too as I go on a journey to fight for my family from a ghost. It is all just a definition, and movies are movies, they shouldn’t be confused with real life. These are just characters that are made for people to enjoy and should be seen purely for entertainment.” He adds, “In real life, every man has their alpha and beta side. It just depends on the situation, and I feel they should channelise both of them. They should show their alpha side to protect their family, but also show their sensitive side when their family tries to tell them something.”
But with the popularity of romantic movies in today’s time, does he feel that sensitive men on screen are being accepted more by audiences? “If people are loving seeing these characters, it makes them more relevant. Sometimes the alpha men also need to see these characters, so that the pseudo alpha people also realise that they do not need to keep up the charade in the name of being an alpha.”
Ask the actor about one thing that this generation has improved in themselves from the men of the previous generation and he says, “The understanding with the other sex is better in today’s men. I have seen people, including myself, who are very sensitive towards women and their needs. A great example of this is that today girls feel comfortable telling men about things like their periods. It takes a lot for a woman to say that to a man, and to get that kind of trust is a big thing.”
But he also feels that this generation can learn certain things from the previous one. “Where we are lacking is the pseudo definition of love. Under terms like situationship and all, we hide. Love is the greatest emotion and that should be kept pure. Just knowing what we want and not play with emotions, is a nice change that our generation can bring about,” he ends.
